A Life Without Him
by Moliver
Summary: He was unattainable, unreachable. He would never be hers again. She would never feel his arms embrace her, feel his lips on hers or be able to even feel his touch at all. A Smitchie one-shot.


**A Life Without Him**

She had lost it all; she had lost everything that was important to her, she had lost everyone she loved.

He had left her.

He had left her after all they had been through together. Through her mother's death, her father's drinking problems and his own problems of what being a celebrity entailed.

The arguing was becoming too much and he left her; he left her and was already reportedly dating a famous actress not even three weeks later.

She was empty.

She was broken.

She was hurt and heartbroken.

He was her life, she had been with **him** ever since she was sixteen years old and now he was gone in an instance.

The tears were cascading down her cheeks as she stroked the photograph she was holding of the two of them with her thumb.

He was smiling and so was she.

They were so in love and happy.

There was no doubt in her mind that she still loved **him**, she loved him more than anything on the planet and he was gone.

He was unattainable, unreachable.

He would never be hers again. She would never feel his arms embrace her, feel his lips on hers or be able to even feel his touch at all.

She knew what people said when they claimed that their hearts had been ripped out of their chests. It was exactly how she felt and had done ever since he had left.

The superstar was her other half, she saw **him** for who he was and not for what he did and how much money he made.

The endless crying was involuntary and she had no one to lean on. Her mother was dead, her father was most likely passed out downstairs from drinking and she had lost her best friend.

They had taken his side in the breakup; they were dating his best friend and band mate. Now they were gone too, none of them would answer her calls, she was a mess.

The mere thoughts of them all made her ache, they made her breakdown crying and screaming in agony.

She had fallen apart and no one was left to pick up the pieces.

It was the newest story that had made her collapse on the ground in anguish and misery. On her television screen he was seen with his new girl, kissing her at the place they had had their first date. It was their place, a place that held a lot of meaning.

Death would have been easier, death she could have somehow found the strength to deal with. But not this, this was too hard.

Curling up into a ball on the floor, she knew she couldn't go on how she was.

She had nothing, she had no one.

She was alone.

It was killing her to see **him** with someone else.

The emptiness was consuming her and she knew she only had one last chance. Her cell phone was on the ground beside her, and she reached out for it, her hand shaking the whole time.

Dialling the number that had been permanently etched into her brain for so long, she held in a sob and held the phone up to her ear.

It rang and it rang and it rang.

As she was about to give up, she heard the voice that never failed to make her heart sing, the voice that made her believe that anything was possible in life.

"Mitchie...you need to stop calling. I only answered to tell you to stop...you have to move on like I am trying to do so. It's over...I'm sorry."

He was gone again, just like that.

He was gone and would never want to talk to her again.

Dropping the phone, she held her face in her hands as the tears began flowing once more. She could no longer hold in the sobs, each one echoing throughout the house.

She was angry.

She was in pain.

She was on her own and the world couldn't care less.

She wanted her mother more than anything, to hold her in her arms and tell her everything would be fine. But she was gone; she wouldn't be able to tell her that things would be better.

She wasn't asleep but she was trapped in a nightmare. She was screaming in the inside and was falling apart; she was hysterical all twenty-four hours of the day.

She was falling into a hole of darkness and couldn't be saved. She was too far gone now and knew she couldn't be saved.

He had promised her they'd be together forever, that he would love her until the end of time. Forever was over now and she had lost the slight hope that she had left in her after hearing his voice through the phone.

She laid there on the cold hard ground of her bedroom for hours and hours, her tears staining her cheeks as the darkness consumed her.

The world outside was asleep and she was still very much alive.

Every breath she took it hurt more and more, it was becoming too painful. Painful was an understatement, her life was now meaningless.

Her heart was bleeding on the inside, he had made her who she was and without **him** she was no one.

She was incomplete.

It was over.

She had to let go of **him**, he had moved on.

There was now no reason for her existence, she could no longer go on.

She was drowning in her life and could no longer breathe.

Slowly, she got up off the floor and grabbed her songbook from her desk. Turning the pages to find a blank one, she grabbed a pen and wrote two mere sentences.

'_I will always love you, Shane. No matter what happens, know that.'_

She placed her songbook down on her bed, leaving it open on that page.

She left her bedroom; her footsteps couldn't even be heard over her sobs.

With every step she took, she could hear her heart pounding in her chest. If it stopped pounding, things wouldn't hurt anymore. Her pain would be gone and so would she.

Her hand shook as she turned the handle of the door at the end of the hallway. She emerged into the room that now belonged only to her father and closed the door behind her.

The tears wouldn't stop pouring down her face and she made her way over to the wardrobe, opening up the doors and grabbing the shoebox that was on the ground.

She knew what was in it; her dad had bought it as a precaution to protect her mum and her what seemed like a lifetime ago.

She opened up the lid of the box, dropping is to the ground.

There was no light at the end of the tunnel.

Making sure the handgun was loaded; she closed her eyes, her hand gripping her fingers around it firmly.

Shane was the only thing she could see, his face was all she could see.

Quite frankly, he was the last thing she wanted to ever see.

She had loved **him** with her entire heart; she loved **him** more than she thought was possible.

There was no other choice; she had nothing left to live for.

Bringing the gun to the side of her head, she took her final breath.

She loved **him**.

She loved **him** and always would.

Without missing a beat, her thumb reached for the trigger and didn't even let out her breath, preparing herself for what was about to come.

She simply could no longer breathe without **him**.

He was gone and now she would be too.

She was saving herself; she was saving herself from a life without **him**.


End file.
